I’ve been growing out my manic pixie dream cut for about a year now, and my hair’s finally at a bob length I pretty much enjoy. I sort of feel like a mix between Jane Lane and Velma Kelly, which sums me up well, actually.
I like it, but it isn’t very interesting to me. I’m quirky and well-read. Also, this cut isn’t attracting nearly enough attention to my forehead, which is basically the boobs of your face! Dudes dig it.
Since Annie started asking for selfies in the comment sections, I’ve been feeling inspired by a lot of the readers’ hair, specifically those of you who are BANGIN'. (#Bangerz?) And I was like, “I wanna plaaaaayyyyyy” so I spent approximately eight minutes planning, and then I sent a pitch email, and then I grabbed some scissors.
I knew I wanted some short little bangs, so as to allow for maximum forehead cleavage. But because I’m a unique bratty pony, I don’t want just your standard Anna Karina situation happening up there. I want my bangs to look like I barely care about them at all, because I’m clearly too busy caring about making art and getting laid. So I opted for some uneven, piece-y short bangs. Like a Shannyn Sossamon fever dream.
Late-night bathroom hair-cutting is a most sacred lady ritual. I am both Sampson AND Delilah. It’s been a while since I read the bible, though. That’s the one about cutting hair, right? (Shout out to Catholic school!)
Whatever, here’s how I cut my own bangs.
I started by blowdrying my hair straight and then not washing it for three days. The filth is optional, but you should only cut your bangs when your hair is dry and straight.
Then, I took a fine-tooth comb and pulled forth all the pieces from the front of my head I wanted to include in my bangs. Don’t pull too much forward or this look will get too heavy. I don’t want my face to evoke memories of the footstool from Beauty and the Beast. (Or do I...?)
Then, I grabbed some scissors. Now, in hindsight, I should have gone out and gotten some hair scissors from the pharmacy. I used to have some that I used for trims after I got kicked out of college and convinced myself I would go to cosmetology school, but I lost them and then went back to school for a totally lucrative English degree. Now I’m broke, and it was nighttime, and that means dark which I am afraid of, so craft scissors it is! Hey, if they’re good enough for turning my vintage Oscar de la Renta shorts into skanky cutoffs, they’re good enough for my head!
I took said scissors and cut in a straight line right over my brows. Try not to push them down while you cut them because when they poof back up, they’ll be shorter than you want. (Also, Alle’s DIY bang cut method works really well here too.)
My bangs are very bratty and accustomed to being pushed to the side (to the left to the left), so they started to do that after this initial cut. I was fairly unhappy about it. Cue a mild freak-out in which I, out loud, yell “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THE SAME DUMB THINGS ALWAYS” at both my bangs and my reflection in the mirror. I can’t afford real scissors or therapy, y’all.
So, I split the bangs into two layers so it’d be easier to handle.
Then, using my fingers, I twisted tiny, tiny, tiny pieces and snipped them at various lengths.
I tried to hold my scissors at an angle. I picked a spot on my head where I wanted my bangs to be noticeably the shortest. I left some pieces too long, and cut some pieces too short. Aim for a certain level of bitter apathy towards your hair and future.
Keep snipping. I kept going back and blowdrying them down to my forehead because they were being wily and I punish such insolence with rushing hot air.
Once my bangs looked the way I wanted them to, I sprayed my hands with some Organix Keratin Oil Weightless Healing Oil, which comes in a spray, so it truly isn’t heavy, and I’m hoping its healing properties will soon help my hair stop falling out in LARGE CLUMPS like it started doing recently because I’m actually just a human shaped bundle of paralyzing anxieties. FUN FACT. So then I used my fingers to pull the ends of the little bangs into little pieces and smooth them down a bit.
And then I let my hair down, and tried to decide if I even liked what I had done.
So I took approximately forty more photos of myself and then decided: I like it!
I think this is a great look for anyone, but it is especially good for calling attention to bold eyebrows or a particularly angular face. My face isn’t as angular as I'd like. I wanna slice loaves of bread with my cheekbones one day.
Also, if you’re prone to breakouts on your forehead or hair line, you need to be careful about using product in your bangs, especially when they aren’t long enough to cover said breakouts.
I also don’t wanna hear anyone say they can’t pull off this look because their foreheads are too big. If you don’t have anything nice to say about your own forehead, post a photo of it here and I will tell you three very nice things about it. THREE.
Short little bangs are awesome because you can style them to look like Audrey Hepburn one day and a rude mall punk the next. Also, they look SO GOOD with glasses. I wish my BF worked with me, because this look SCREAMS sexy office romance. Or slutty barista.
Do you have bangs? Can you tell I’ve lost about half my hair in the past two weeks? Show me your foreheads!